Every family has at least one member who asks questions about the family tree. In most cases, it is curiosity driving them. Here I will share a story of someone I know who found out that curiosity needs to be tempered sometimes.
When Sarah first got married to her husband, who had no siblings and his father was deceased, she asked her mother-in-law many questions. Her husband did not seem to know much about his own family, so it was up to her to find out. She put on her researcher hat.
Wondering
Why weren’t there any wedding pictures? Why so few photos of when her husband was young? One would think with an only child there would be an abundance of toothless pics, first haircut, and playing with friends pictures. And there were only a handful of photos of her husband’s father, Bud. “What gives?” she thought.
However, the questions were not welcomed. Tension grew between her mother-in-law and her. But Sarah pushed, unfairly. She wanted to know. It created many problems in the family.
Yesterday’s Scandals
You can get yourself into trouble sometimes when you dig too much. As it turned out, Sarah’s husband’s parents were not married when he was born. By today’s standards, that is not a big deal. But for someone who grew up in the ’30s and ’40s, this is scandalous! Even Sarah’s husband did not know this about his parents. But what’s more, her husband’s father was still trying to untangle from a previous marriage, and it was doubted by many that her mother-in-law was even carrying Bud’s child! Well, now we might be getting into some Jerry Springer territory!
It took many years to heal the relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. And the confirmation of the paternity was not obtained until a decade later when DNA access came on the scene through genealogy websites. I’m happy to report, my friend’s husband WAS the son of Bud.
Words for the Wise
So, as much fun as it is to play private investigator with family history, be cautious and respectful of those you interview. Back off when it’s necessary or someone is uncomfortable. But also make it known that you are not judging. We are all products of our time.
Have you ever gotten into uncomfortable situations because of your curiosity when it comes to family history?
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